Yearning

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It's funny to me how you can miss someone so much that you haven't even met yet.

In these days leading up to little brother's birth, I find myself yearning for ALL of my babies to be home. Not just little brother growing within, but also little sister from afar. It's somewhat strange to be preparing my heart to bring both of them home, but at separate times. While I know the date, give or take, that little brother will arrive, we have no idea how long our Ethiopian adoption will take. At the same time that all of these unknowns are swirling around in my head, I know God has already written the date on His giant master calendar and my job is to wait and prepare my heart.

Photo Credit: bitzcelt via Flickr

Maybe it was all of the adoption questions we answered while on vacation or the pregnancy hormones, but I'm yearning for her even more these days. I've dreamed of her--never seeing her face, only her little brown hand in mine. Just the other night I was overcome with emotion at the dinner table as I glanced at our empty chairs, knowing they will one day be filled.

No, we don't have a referral yet. We don't have a picture to stare at. Not a name or a birthday to add to the calendar...but she's ours. We're already connected. God has already written her name on our family tree and on our hearts.

But I'm only at the beginning of all of this yearning...more is sure to come.

Jonah talks about her often, too. He asks questions about Ethiopia and wonders what sister might be doing at any given moment. We look at the globe and the distance that separates us for the time being. He prays for her every single night without prompting. He draws pictures of our family including "our girl," as he calls her. He loves her so much already.

And I wonder...Will she every really know just how much we yearned for her and the very hope of her presence in our lives?

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