Skip to Content

Adoption FAQ #3: Why Don't You Just Foster Adopt?

Sharing is caring!

When we talk about adopting, the conversation usually goes like this...

"There are soooo many children that need families in America. Have you thought about Fostering-to-Adopt?"

Then I have to decide which answer to give...Usually I go with the long answer, but wish I was brave enough to say the short.


Short Answer: There ARE so many children that need families in America. Have YOU thought about Fostering-to-Adopt?

Long Answer: We agree, there are too many children in foster care in America. Our heart is broken for all orphans, no matter where they live.  Although fostering-to-adopt would probably be cheaper for us, the emotional stakes are higher. Call it selfish, but we don't think we could handle the unknowns that go along with fostering. It would absolutely devastate our family to get attached to a child and have it not work out for one reason or another. We want a baby, and know the majority of waiting children are older. It is very important for us to keep the correct birth order of our children. Since Jonah is only 3 years old, we feel a baby would be best.

Don't get me wrong---We have the utmost respect for those that choose fostering-to-adopt and have friends in the process. We just don't think it is the right thing for our family at this time.

Does choosing to go internationally instead of fostering in our own country make us bad people? No. We fully believe God has led us to Ethiopia. We also believe that God has families picked out for all orphans. Maybe you might be one of them?

Sharing is caring!


Thursday 15th of September 2011

As a foster/adopt parent. And losing (returned home) two beautiful children after two years. . . we still feel called to this crazy process! And I'm so glad others are called internationally! We currently have two siblings, almost 3 year old is now legally free and in adoption process, her baby brother may go back home :(


Friday 16th of September 2011

Allison, I'm so thankful that you are called to foster! Praying for your family as you navigate the foster system.

Lisa @ Simplified Saving

Tuesday 4th of January 2011

We get asked this question all the time. I've always planned on adopting and I always thought I'd do it through the foster care system. We had no idea that we would fall in love with a little girl from Ukraine and end up falling in love with a second child while we were over there adopting our first! Chances are we'll still adopt from the foster care system somewhere down the road, but God in His sovereignty knew exactly what children needed to be in our home. Our daughters are the perfect fit in our family!

So excited for you on your adoption adventure!


Wednesday 5th of January 2011

I wish I had known that you adopted when we were at Relevant! Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with me! I keep telling Mr. Happy Brown House that we should just go for 2!

Patty Patterson

Sunday 2nd of January 2011

I thought this was a pretty silly question, if you don't mind my saying so....

"Does choosing to go internationally instead of fostering in our own country make us bad people? "

How could any family loving enough to take a stranger into their homes and accept them as family be bad people?

Does it matter where a child comes from? A child is a child.... no matter where they were born or what color their skin.

I can't see how anyone could have a problem with you wanting to adopt a baby from Ethipoia or anywhere else. But - if they do have a problem - it's THEIR problem. You are simply following God in the path that He's chosen for you and if they don't get it maybe they need to get a little closer to Him, so He can help them to understand.

Personally, I can't wait to see the baby pictures. And the cute little post about Jonah taking care of his younger sibling. And the cute little things he has to say about him/her. We will soon see great demonstrations of brotherly love that was not bound by genetics or geography. And we will learn.

I can't even begin to express how happy and anxious I am to see how wonderful this plays out for your family.

And yes - I know there will be a challenge here and there - but, we have those with the children we give birth to, also - so really..... what's the difference. You LOVE and you ACCEPT and you LOVE EVEN MORE!


Sunday 2nd of January 2011

I agree Patty, it is a silly question. Sadly, there are people that think we should "adopt from our own backyard" first. Unfortunately, the orphan crisis is worldwide. And I can't wait to take the baby pictures!!!


Sunday 2nd of January 2011

I get this question a lot. Sadly, the people who ask it are usually those doing very little about the orphan crisis domestically or internationally. I pray for an extra dose of patience to answer this one lovingly when I sometimes am tempted to be sarcastic.


Sunday 2nd of January 2011

It's so hard to be patient when we get silly adoption questions, isn't it Lara? I try to remember that with every grace-filled answer I give, someone's eyes might be opened to the orphan crisis. (But sometimes, I really just want to be sarcastic...oh, the war within!)


Saturday 1st of January 2011

Sara, I used to always say we were open to whatever we were led to. Last summer we went to the first meeting for the foster to adopt and realized it simply wasn't going to work for many reasons (some out of our hands). I like to respond that every child is important. I've heard even recently foreign adoptions associated with the idea of "buying your baby" and it simply upsets me. What is the difference between being paid to take care of a child (such as the foster to adopt) or having to shell out money for expenses? I think people need to learn to be less judgmental and realize that when you want a child you begin to really not care where they come from so much as that they fit into your family.


Saturday 1st of January 2011

So far it's been an honest question and hasn't made us feel attacked for our choices. There are some things broken...but I thought the same thing with some of the other countries we've looked into, too....Sigh. It leads me to ask the question, How do we change the way we handle orphan care? I may just turn into an activist someday.