The first time I was pregnant, Hyperemesis Gravidarum impacted my life greatly. I missed a LOT of work and people just didn't understand why I couldn't cope with my nausea. (Hello...I was in the hospital 5 times!) Work was the thing that was the most negatively affected by my illness. Ray had a hard time taking care of everything, but really, I didn't care how the house looked because I was so miserable. My biggest worry was that I had clean pajama pants to change into. 🙂
This time it's different. I have a 3-year-old to care for. Cook. Clean. Play. Laundry. Bedtime. Chase away bad dreams. Repeat.
You better believe it's taking it's toll on my family life this time.
Jonah's pretty articulate, but he's still having a hard time expressing some of his emotions about Mommy being sick. Ray is taking care of everything beautifully this time, including taking care of Jonah. I swear the man is doing a better job keeping things caught up than I do when I'm healthy!
It's new territory for me. This "I'm-so-sick-I'm-home-bound" combined with a three-year-old boy state that I'm in. And it's hard. Oh, so hard. And the guilt. Oh, the guilt. Mommy guilt, no matter the reason, is hard to deal with. For me, I feel guilty about the amount of television Jonah has consumed lately. I also feel guilty that I just can't keep up. Poor little guy is so used to Mommy & Me fun, but the truth is, I'm just no fun lately.
I've been so blessed by some thoughtful people over the past week. While their acts of kindness weren't monumentally huge in time or expense, they were just enough to mean the world to me. More importantly, they meant the world to Jonah. (The way to a mommy's heart is through their child!)
Laura from We Wilsons sent Jonah a crown from her Nicholas Crown Project. Something so simple, but Jonah has worn it every single day since it arrived in the mail. While I could have whipped up a crown myself on a healthy day, I just don't feel up to making things right now. Laura heard about me, instantly remembered her own time with Hyperemesis, and wondered how Jonah was dealing with my illness. It came on the perfect day to remind Jonah that he is special even though Mommy is sick.
Another way I've been blessed was through a friend from church. She called me up out of the blue and said she was bringing dinner. Even though I can't eat much more than toast, my family still has to eat. Plus, she knew Ray could probably use a break. Normally, I would've told her, "Oh thank you, but we're getting by. Don't worry about us." But I just didn't have the energy to refuse, so I let her bring my family food. No real harm in that, right?!?
My friend went the extra step of sending dessert and a bag of goodies for Jonah. The bag of surprises for Jonah was the thing that meant the most. She said she was thinking about how hard it must be for him. Once again, the way to a Mommy's heart is through her child!
I know I'm rambling. So what am I really trying to say?
When Mommy gets sick, it hard on everyone. But somehow, the little people are the ones affected the most. They don't understand why, they just know they don't like the changes taking place. There are lots of emotions that bounce around inside those precious little bodies...eventually they have to come out. Good or bad, I know Jonah loves me just the same. I've been trying to remind myself of that daily.
Now that the Zofran pump is starting to work, I've been trying to "suck it up" and do something fun with Jonah when I feel like I can handle it. We've sat at the table and stamped, played countless games of Hi Ho Cherry-O, and read books. Simple things that have meant the world to Jonah. Little things to let him know that Mommy loves him even when she's sick.
So I'm wondering...
What things do you do to let your little ones know you love them when you get sick?
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Melissa W.
Sunday 25th of December 2011
You are probably done with your pregnancy now, but, I'm currently in the same game as you were. I've got the zofran pump and I feel fortunate that I am getting enough relief to play with my 2 children. I can't say much more for what you were doing except you do what you can, it's like being in survival mode. For future moms to be reading this, just know it's worth it in the end and if all you can do is lay in bed and snuggle with your current children while they watch a movie, then that is what you have to do!
Sara
Tuesday 27th of December 2011
Amen Melissa! And even now that I'm done, we're still in survival mode with a colicky baby. I have to remember that this is a season and we'll be out of it soon. Hope you feel better soon!
martha brady
Friday 1st of April 2011
we'll pray that God will continue to give yu grace during this difficult chapter of your life. there is no question it is difficult. Our prayers continue for you, baby and all your family.
Sara
Sunday 3rd of April 2011
Thank you Martha!
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Friday 11th of March 2011
[...] out more, so I did some internet research and read some blog entries by a couple other HG moms here and [...]