I'm here. Baby is not...yet.
I've had lots of fun things I've planned on posting for you, but well, it just didn't happen...yet.
In the past week, I've found myself turning inward and going to my soul's quiet place instead of writing and sharing with the world. While there is still plenty on my "to-do" wish list before little brother comes, most of the things that really matter are done. The rest is just fluff and some of that extra nesting we mother hens tend to do. Instead, I've heard a whisper in my soul to slow down, clear my head of the static, and focus on the task at hand...and I've listened.
Just me, my thoughts, and the Lord....asking Him to fill me up. To give me strength and clarity when I need it most. To calm this anxious woman.
I think a lot of us get so caught up in all of the physical preparations for welcoming a new baby, that we often forget that there is work to do mentally, as well. I know this was the case with my first pregnancy...and I had the postpartum depression to prove it. This time, though, I find myself worrying more on the condition of my heart and mental state because that is what will really make this family transition easier...not how many boxes of diapers I have or if a nursery is decorated.
I've been working through my expectations and reminding myself that even on my best days, they are too high. Add a newborn to the mix, and well, the bar really must be lowered. I've been giving myself permission to break my own rules and have no expectations...easier said than done. Because really, if I have an expectation set in place, I'm setting myself up for disappointment and self-loathing. Not healthy.
I've been filling myself up with God's Word and promises for me. Reminding myself that He came to bring me peace. He is my comforter. He is my rock and my refuge.
So there you have it, the quiet before the labor and the reason behind it. Hopefully, I'll have cute baby pictures to share soon. We covet your prayers, dear friends.