Two Steps Forward, One Step Back…

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I had been starting to feel better…thought I had turned a corner with the Hyperemesis. The home health nurse that calls for daily updates on my weight and ketones got all giddy and started talking about weaning me off the Zofran Pump. I thought I was ready, even started doing things like laundry again. Woohoo! In a moment of extreme excitement, I cleaned the bathroom. Mr. HBH was so excited…he thought he was being relieved of his extra duties that have been piled on him. (Can we all take a collective sigh of thanks for Mr. HBH and the wonderful man that he is? Amen.) Jonah was basking in the glory of having his happy-go-lucky mommy play with him and make puppet theaters.

And then we lowered the dosage one too many times in too few days.

Blech. There it was waiting around the corner, crouching and ready to pounce again.

Two steps forward, one step back, I tell ya…like my own real-life game of Candy Land. (Which by the way, Jonah beats me EVERY singleĀ  time!)

CandylandAnd I’m totally over it, but I feel really guilty complaining when there are women that would give anything to hug the toilet all day if it meant they were having a baby. And I know, because I’ve been there…really, I’m only a few months removed from it.

So, I’m not going to go there, no matter how tempted I am. I’m going to be thankful that I’m atleast experiencing a lower amount of nausea and overall my dosage is lower. Because with Hyperemesis, some women don’t experience that. Some women are at full force nausea until the day they deliver. Some women make unthinkable choices because the sickness is too much to handle and puts them at a severe health risk. Not me. Today I’m thankful for the extra weight put on after having Jonah that would not go away no matter what I tried. It’s those pesky extra pounds that have kept me out of serious health risk. (Never thought I’d say I was thankful for extra pounds around my middle!) I’m hoping it eventually goes away like it did with Jonah at 28 weeks.

Until then, I’m going to repeat my mantra every time a wave of nausea washes over me. This too shall pass…

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  1. Awww, thinking of you. I’ve been lucky to have not much nausea at all, but when I first heard about that condition I thought, “Oh, that would be really, really hard.” You are super strong and can do this!

  2. Been there, done that…twice. From 6 weeks until about 38 weeks. I know exactly how you feel! It is soooo hard, especially with a little one already needing his mama. (that’s why we stopped at 2) Remember, zofran is your friend and it will be worth it when you hold that little baby!! Praying for you!!

    • Funny how we think “Maybe it won’t happen again this time”, huh? We have already said that we won’t be trying anymore…good thing we LOVE adoption so much!:) Zofran is my friend, but I was hoping to be rid of some of the side effects that I’m dealing with. Plus, I really just want to feel better! Gives me comfort that others out there know what I’m dealing with and are here to encourage me! Thank you Marci!

  3. i’ve also considered myself to be very fortunate in that i had almost no nausea with my 3 girls.. i can’t imagine feeling this lousy during the whole pregnancy:(
    how much longer do you have to go? are you 7 months yet?

  4. You poor thing! I’m so glad to hear that you are even having the tiniest bit of improvement… Praise the Lord for that!

    • Thank you Jenny! It’s definitely not fun, but it will be worth it in the end. I think it’s safe to say that my body doesn’t do pregnant very well.

  5. Eileen Jennings says:

    Your courage is admirable. It is not easy dealing with sickness even knowing the joy the sacrifice will bring. The constant demands of a mother with a little one still at the knee and another one coming, is a mixture of trials and blessings. It is indeed two steps forward and one step back. The advances in our daily lives seem slow and difficult, yet it is the making of our faith in practice. Often it is only in looking back that we see the trials and struggles in the eyes of our Lord. He does not visit misery on us but helps us through them. We live in a fallen world that offer many opportunities to work our faith and it is why our Lord admonished us to encourage each other all the more when trouble comes. May He lighten your load and set joy before you.
    Mrs. J.

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