Mommy & Me: Special Time

Since Asher came six months ago, Jonah has needed some extra doses of special time with Mommy and Daddy. While he truly loves Asher, the process of becoming brothers has been hard. Finding our groove as a family of four hasn’t been easy. It isn’t something I have written much about, mainly because it has been really HARD on everyone involved…especially Mommy. And, we’re not even done looking for our new normal yet!

That first day home with Asher was an absolute nightmare. Jonah hadn’t ever been away from us for that long and was needing us. The problem was that there was this new little person that needed attention, too. Mommy was recovering from surgery and needed Daddy to help with getting in and out of the recliner, changing diapers, etc. and Jonah didn’t like it one bit. Going from being the center of attention to not being the center of attention is rough on a guy, ya know.

The jealousy was so thick you could slice it.

The tantrums were epic.

The tears…oh, how they fell!

I’m not proud of it, but I really struggled as I saw Jonah in a different light. Suddenly, he was bigger and louder. I found him annoying and whiny. Quite frankly, I cried myself to sleep that night wondering where my sweet boy had gone and asking God what He had done to my family. (Post-partum hormones were running rampant, people!)

It is right here that I will sing the praises of Mr. Happy Brown House. He’s a wise one. He knew that the thing that would help Jonah and Mommy the most was to have some special time together.

And he made it happen.

He took Asher while Mommy read books with Jonah. He sent Mommy and Jonah outside on the porch together. He took pictures while Mommy and Jonah made silly faces. And it helped…both of us.

When we headed to Florida to introduce Asher to family and were blessed with a free day at Disney, he made sure that I was the one making memories instead of watching with Asher on the sidelines. And somewhere between the Teacups and the Carousel, I healed a little. The laugh that had been squelched when colic and all of the shhhh-ing began started to rise and bubble over. I found me again, even if only for the day.

It was then that I realized the real goal of my “Mommy & Me” posts. Sure I like to post fun, educational things to do with your little ones, but ultimately, the real goal is about strengthening the bond between mother and child. You see, sometimes I get in my own way and lose sight of the real reason I do things here on this blog. Sometimes I get caught up in the business side of blogging, the prideful part of blogging, the part of me that wants you to like me because I have so much to offer. And when I can’t offer those things because my life “gets in the way” of my goals, I feel like I’ve let you down. When really, the whole point of my blogging is to document these precious years I have to live. And live them I must. Because what’s the point of blogging about a life that isn’t being truly lived?

So, today, there is no special activity.

No Pinterest-worthy picture.

No affiliate links to products for you to buy.

Just you.

You and that little one…together.

 

Your time and attention is better than anything I can write about today. Make it special. Turn on some music and dance in your kitchen. Have a pillow fight. Let them splash you during bath time. Cut out construction paper clown noses and wear them while you eat dinner. Laugh. Whatever it is, live first and write about it later.

Go. Live. Love. Then come back and tell me about it.

Comments

  1. Aw, sweet! I had the same feelings when I brought my daughter home 10 months ago. All of a sudden I had to divide my time and my baby needed me “more” than my little 2.5 year old, but that wasn’t the case. They both needed me. We are still trying to find our normal, but now that naps are more regular I can take that time with him. I know it will never be the same, just him and I, but I will make it work and someday will need that one on one with my little girl. Oh, the joys of being a mom!

    • Thanks for admitting your feelings, too, so I would know that I’m not alone! I think going to 2 kids has been harder than having the first! And naps, what are those? Asher is king of the catnap. He’s killin’ me!

      • I agree. Almost everyone told me having the second would be easy. I don’t tell people that! It’s HARD! But it has joys. When your baby gets a little older and they start playing and laughing with big brother, your heart will melt!

  2. This was such a sweet post. Thank you for your transparency about such hard subject: the reality of being mommy. Your words are so honest and genuine and I love that you posted about your life and how you are making it work with your first baby when the new baby comes home. You are such a blessing to so many. Thank you. ;)

    • Oh, how I’ve struggled going to 2 kids. It is a constant battle to fight for joy. Some people can simply choose, but I have to literally fight for joy. Every stinkin’ day. Some days I lose the battle.

  3. Yes…this is spot on. As an older mom I sometimes worry that many moms are missing all the fun because of the need to document every event on their blog. Life is so much more than that. Squeeze every minute…even the hard ones. Love your post..

    • Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment, Barb! While I use my blog as a scrapbook sometimes, I do see how some women are getting caught up in blogging their life before they really live it. Hoping to embrace the moments instead!

  4. It is amazing how similar your experience has been to mine. Although, I am 10 years further down the road. Those first couple years, after #2, were SO hard. Keep your great perspective and just enjoy each day. I started teaching the 2 year olds at church and they are SO precious. It makes me miss those days, your current days, and wishing I could go back and redo them (you probably think I am crazy!), with the perspective I have now.

    • Thank you, Ingrid! It’s funny…some friends told me that going to 2 was harder than the first, but I didn’t believe them. I do now! It is SO hard, but such a joy to have them!

  5. Very well said! :) <3 this post!

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